This morning I awoke praying Malachai 4:6. “He will go before the Lord in the spirit and power of Elijah to turn the hearts of the fathers toward their children and the hearts of the children towards their fathers.” This has been a continuous and constant prayer in my life, and in the community where I hang my hat, for the past seven years. We see in Luke 1:17 why this is so important: “To make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” It seems as though this is a conditional operating environment that will need to be in place before He comes. It is a reflection of the kind of reconciliation that God the Father desires with us.

As Henri Nouwen conveys so eloquently in Return of the Prodigal Son, we are all called to become like the Father—welcoming those returning home with opens arms, blessing and forgiveness. Not asking where they have been or what they have been doing. It goes back to Genesis. Joseph became father to Pharaoh, and later to Jacob, his own father. Ah, the son becomes the father! (Gen. 45:8, 46:29)

We are called to pray for the restoration of fathers into the lives of their children, for a movement of fathers, for spiritual and adoptive fathers who are willing to be transformed into the image of our heavenly Father welcoming those returning home with open arms and blessing. We are called to love, serve and support men, empowering and equipping them to be leaders in their households who are strong for their children.

I remember several years ago at my church on Father's Day, our pastor Lou asked all the men who had ever received a father’s blessing to come forward. Next, he asked all the men who had never received a fathers blessing to come forward. And the throngs of men came forward. With that, pastor Lou asked all of the men who had received a fathers blessing to pray a fathers blessing over the men who had not. Can you imagine such a thing! It makes me weep just to think of it. Later, I was speaking to a friend of mine whose father had gone forward to receive a blessing. He was 80 years old. “My father never told me that he loved me,” the elder man said. His countenance is different today.

I know this impacts some of you who are reading this right now. Ladies too. If your father is still living, pray for the wisdom and grace to know how to ask your dad for a father’s blessing. If you are a father and you are not sure how to go about doing this for your children, a good reference is Gary Smalley’s The Blessing. If you're not sure about any of this, touch base with me and we can pray through it and walk it out with God’s grace.

If possible, ask one or more of the men in your life who understand the importance of this blessing to prepare a time to impart blessing to your life. My friend Al called his father halfway around the world and told him that he was coming home for a father’s blessing. I'm talk'n Africa!

Some men feel they can't do it. As one man told his son, “I can't give you a father’s blessing.” Why? “Because my father never did that for me.” And so it goes. We need to break the cycle! Men can pray and receive the grace to do this for their children. If there is no father figure in your life to do this, I walk with a group of men who will support you in this. We can get this directly from God the Father but it is hard sometimes if we did not receive it from our earthy fathers. A message of grace, peace and release to our dads who are not perfect, nor are we. Lord, I pray for healing of the heart and forgiveness.

When I got home from having coffee this morning, I was stirred up. For some reason I was led to turn on the radio in the bathroom and started playing the air guitar in front of the mirror. Yes, I still do that! All of the sudden, I was led to tune the radio to KTCL 93.3, a station I never listen to. I was immediately captured by the song that was playing, and by the end of it, I had tears in my eyes as I stood in front of the mirror. I went to my computer and looked up the play list to find out who was doing the song. It was Everclear, and the title was “Father of Mine.” It is an autobiographical song by lead singer Art Alexakis who said, “it was kind of a catharsis for me to put those feelings to words. It was a way for me to get things out of my system.” Please pray for Art as he is still not talking with his father. Peace, healing, forgiveness, reconciliation.

We all need to “get some things out of our system” and through God's mercy I pray that we can. Then we can move forward with deliberate intention toward what Henri Nouwen refers to as "the hard task of love.” If we let our Father love us, perhaps it does not need to be so hard.

Mark O'Brien
a youth mentor
is a human rights advocate
a minister of reconciliation
and a resident of Denver